All posts by kolbyking

December Joke #11

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When’s He Coming?

A family took their three-year-old to church for the first time. Getting impatient while waiting for the service to start, he turned to his mom and asked, “What time does Jesus get here?”*

What would you do…if Jesus showed up where you are. What would you say to Him? What do you think He would say to you?

Learn more about how you can be ready to stand before God – Click HERE.

Sharing Jokes with a Purpose is a great way to share the Gospel with your friends.

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*Original Source: www.rd.com/funny-stuff/13-funny-jokes-for-the-holidays

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December Joke #10

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Christmas Squirrels

Three buildings in town were overrun by squirrels—the town hall, the hardware store, and the church. The town hall brought in some cats. But after they tore up all the files, the mayor got rid of the predators, and soon the squirrels were back.

The hardware store humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free outside town. But three days later, the squirrels climbed back in.

Only the church came up with an effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and made them members. Now they see them only on Christmas and Easter.*

Did you know…that going to Heaven is not about attending a church.

Learn more about how you can have eternal life – Click HERE.

Sharing Jokes with a Purpose is a great way to share the Gospel with your friends.

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*Original Source: www.rd.com/funny-stuff/13-funny-jokes-for-the-holidays

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December Joke #9

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Why did the ornament leave the Christmas tree?

He got tired of just hanging around.

Some people’s goal is just to make it through another day. It’s like they’re just hanging around in life but God created you for so much more…

Learn more about God’s plan for your life – Click HERE.

Sharing Jokes with a Purpose is a great way to share the Gospel with your friends.

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December Joke #8

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What is the best Christmas present in the world?

A broken drum–You just can’t beat it!

You might not have a broken drum but we’ve all had a broken relationship with God.

God is perfect but we are not perfect and our sin, the wrong things we do, separate us from God.

Learn more about how God made a way to fix our sin problem – Click HERE.

Sharing Jokes with a Purpose is a great way to share the Gospel with your friends.

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December Joke #7

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Did you ever eat a clock?

It’s time consuming.

Sometimes we think we have all the time in the world but one thing is certain: None of us will live forever.

The Good News is that you can know for sure that you will go to Heaven when you die.

Learn more – Click HERE.

Sharing Jokes with a Purpose is a great way to share the Gospel with your friends.

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December Joke #6

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What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month?

The letter “D”.

What do you have that no one else has?

Did you know that no who has ever lived has fingerprints like yours?

Did you know that nobody has ever had eyes like yours?

You are one-of-a-kind and God’s plans for you are special and unique to you.

Learn more about God’s plan for your life and how you can know for sure that you’re going to Heaven – Click HERE.

Sharing Jokes with a Purpose is a great way to share the Gospel with your friends.

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December Joke #5

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What is the difference between the alphabet and the Christmas alphabet?

The Christmas alphabet has no L (Noel).

An alphabet without an “L” is incomplete. A life without Christ is incomplete too.

Did you know that God designed you for a purpose? The Lord loves you and has great plans for your life.

Learn more about God’s plan for you – Click HERE.

Sharing Jokes with a Purpose is a great way to share the Gospel with your friends.

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December Joke #4

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While decorating Christmas cookies, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring.

The doctor said I will be fine, but I feel like I dyed a little inside.

Some people feel something different on the inside…They feel empty. But God created you for so much more.

Life is more than breathing, feeling and existing. Discover the real meaning of life and the great plans God has for you – Click HERE.

Sharing Jokes with a Purpose is a great way to share the Gospel with your friends.

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December Joke #3

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What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?

A cookie sheet.

Cookies and cookie sheet naturally go together. They’re just a perfect fit for each other.

Did you know that you were created to perfectly walk with God? But we’ve got a problem…

Learn more about our problem and how God made a way to bring us back to Him – Click HERE.

Sharing Jokes with a Purpose is a great way to share the Gospel with your friends.

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December Joke #2

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Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor?

Because he was feeling kind of crummy.

When you make gingerbread men, you can design them however you want. Did you know that God designed you for a purpose?

He loves you and has great plans for your life.

Learn more about God’s plan for your life – Click HERE.

Sharing Jokes with a Purpose is a great way to share the Gospel with your friends.

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December Joke #1

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Why did the candy cane get in a fight?

Because it wanted to get a licking.

Believe it or not, a Candy Cane can represent a lot about the real meaning of Christmas.

If you turn it upside down, it’s a “J” which can stand for “Jesus” whom God sent to be the Savior of the world.

Turn it right side up and it looks like a shepherd’s staff. The shepherds were the first people to whom God proclaimed through the angels that the Savior had been born.

The red stripe can represent the blood that Jesus shed on the cross to save us from our sins and white stripe can represent the purity that only comes when people receive Christ as their Lord and Savior.

As you eat the candy cane, everything disappears and only the white remains. This can show how Jesus removes our sins to make us “whiter” than snow.

What’s Christmas all about? It’s all about Jesus!

Learn more about how you can have personal relationship with Jesus – Click HERE.

Sharing Jokes with a Purpose is a great way to share the Gospel with your friends.

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Black Friday Joke

November Jokes

Who profits the most on Black Friday?

The one who was smart enough not to go shopping on that day.

Only in America can you trample people to get a lot more exactly one day after giving thanks for what you already have.

For many, “Black Friday” is a day for getting. But listen to what the Bible says about gain…

Jesus said, “For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul?” (Mark 8:36).

Among your getting, don’t neglect the most important thing of all: Do you know Jesus Christ? Do you have eternal life?

Learn more about how you can know for sure that you’ll go to Heaven – Click HERE.

Sharing Jokes with a Purpose is a great way to share the Gospel with your friends.

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Giving God Your Left-Overs

November Stories, , , ,

The Day After Thanksgiving…

Today is the day that most of us are eating left-overs. There’s nothing wrong with a good, left over piece of pie but there’s something terribly wrong when we give God our second best.

Does everything in your life belong to Christ or are you simply giving Him what remains after everything else that’s important to you. The life you’re looking for is only found once you surrender everything to Him.

Jesus said “I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” (John 10:10)

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Turkey #17

November Jokes

We had grandma for Thanksgiving dinner.

Really? We had turkey.

Some things just shouldn’t get confused. The biggest of these is how a person can have eternal life.

Did you know that, according to the Bible:

  • Going to church can’t get you into Heaven.
  • Being good can’t get you into Heaven.
  • Being baptized can’t get you into Heaven.

There’s only ONE WAY and that’s by placing your faith in Jesus Christ and surrendering your life to Him.

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6).

Learn more about how you can have eternal life and go to Heaven when you die – Click HERE.

Sharing Jokes with a Purpose is a great way to share the Gospel with your friends.

Join us on Facebook for more jokes: www.Facebook.com/ThreeThirtyMinistries

Discover more jokes and Christian Resources at www.330resources.org.

 

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Aren’t you Glad God isn’t Like the Presidential Turkey Pardon

November Stories, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Presidential Turkey pardon began in 1947 as a PR stunt of the National Turkey Federation by donating one of their finest turkeys to the President of the United States. For 25 years the publicity stunt proceeded without a hitch, until in 1963 when President Kennedy, looked at his turkey and said, “Let’s keep him going.”

This is what happens: About 25 “good” turkeys are picked from a crowd of about 20,000. They are sent to the president to “strut their stuff” and only one or two are chosen (and sent to a Thanksgiving parade at Disneyland). They eventually end up at Mount Vernon, George Washington’s estate, and sheltered in a coop on the historic estate.*

Aren’t you Thankful that God doesn’t look for the “good” turkeys in the crowd but He extends His love and care to all? The Bible says, “But God demonstrates his own love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).

And again, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” (Romans 10:13).

Happy Thanksgiving to all the “Turkeys” out there!

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*Written and adapted by Kolby King from numerous sources.

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