I Know That I Know… - Follow Jesus

I’ve heard that if you are 99% sure that your going to Heaven, then your 100% lost. Hmmm…so what does this statement say about my past?

I grew up in church. I went to Sunday School and Vacation Bible School. I knew all the church songs. I knew that Jesus loved me. I knew that He died for me. I knew that He rose again. I knew a lot of things about God, but I hadn’t come to know God. Doing and knowing all these things didn’t change where I would spend eternity. But this did…

One day I was helping my mom put away some towels, singing songs and being a kid, when I realized I didn’t want to just know about God, I wanted to know God. I could feel this longing in my spirit to have God in a way I had never understood. I wanted Him. I knew that I needed Him. I had known about sin, but in that moment, I was made aware of my sin. I knew that God was the only way to heaven. God was drawing me to Himself. And I was ready to come.

That day I ran to see my Mom and tell her that I wanted to go to Heaven. I was ready to give my life to Jesus. That day I prayed and I gave my life to Jesus. I truly meant it. This I know.

All that being said, I have doubted. I’ve doubted what I’d done that day. At times, I’ve been one of those that would say I’m 99% sure that I’m going to Heaven. So what does all that mean? Am I or am I not? Have I or have I not? When do I cast away fact and follow feeling? Am I saved? These are all questions I’ve asked myself.

Let me say this, I whole heartedly disagree with the statement, “If you are 99% sure that your going to heaven then you’re 100% lost”. If you want to know if you’re going to Heaven you can’t look at how you feel in the moment. You must look at your response to God, and His offering of Heaven and life through Jesus. Have you given your life to Him? Have you confessed your sin to Him and ask Him to forgive you? If you have done this then you are saved. You are going to heaven. You have a one-on-one relationship with the Almighty God. So why do you still have the doubt? Possibly there is sin in your life now. Something that you are doing that you know is wrong. In this case ask God to forgive you and to restore a right relationship between the two of you.

Say there’s no sin that you can see, but still a feeling of doubt in your salvation, what do you do? I picture it a lot like this… At two in the morning, when the dog needs outside and he’s waken up half the house just to let me know of his needs, when the house is cold and I have to get up. Then to top it all off, on my way to the door I stub my toe on the heap of toys left in the middle of the floor, I might not feel saved, but I am. Salvation doesn’t come based on feeling. No more than feeling unloved, means I am unloved. My feeling cannot change fact. The fact is my salvation was and never will be based on feeling. It’s based on His faithfulness and my trust in Him. The fact that God sent His only Son to live a perfect life and then to die, taking my punishment for sin. The fact “that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved” (Romans 10:9). My faith comes from the fact that I have new life in Christ. Not because of me but because of Him. He called me into a relationship with Him. I answered… Yes, Lord. “For whoever will call upon the name of the name of the Lord will be saved” (Romans 10:13).

In the past I have struggled with this doubt. At two major points in my life it has haunted me. I’ve been told many times to just redo it and nail it down. But if there’s something to redo why am I redoing it? Salvation isn’t something you do over and over till you think it stuck. It’s a one time exchanging of lives you giving yours to God and Him giving you His. So the question is… did I? Did I really give my life to Jesus? My answer was and is yes. The moment I prayed and surrendered my life to God I was sealed with the blood of Jesus who died and took my place. The truth is Jesus lives in my heart. He can’t go to Hell and neither can I. He has sealed my eternity. None of this is based on how I feel.

God is not a God of confusion. He’s a God of peace. God doesn’t want you to live fearing Hell or death. He came so that you wouldn’t have to fear, you can know. You have to put faith in what He’s done not only on the cross, but in your life.

If you doubt, and you know there was a time in your life when you truly gave your life to God, then work out the salvation you have before a God who loves you.

“… work out your salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure” (Philippians 2:12-13).

Sit and wait for Him. Talk to Him constantly. For me… I have endured these seasons of doubt and it has sometimes taken months. Months of desperately crying out to God for His peace. I had to trust in what He said He would do. God has brought me through this every time. I know how it feels to have people not understand what I was going through. How sometimes they wanted to slap a band aid on it and just go on. To give it a quick fix. But that isn’t what I needed. I needed to come face to face with a holy God and work out the relationship we shared.

If you’re struggling with doubting you salvation, it’s ok. If you need some one to talk to, contact me at marybethking@threethirtyministries.org